The bright virtually faded and to reach the
place was not within the walking distance for all four cohorts. All were in
haste for, it was already late and the very next day they had their exam and
one fourth of the syllabus was not even covered. Meantime they were careless as
if they were least concerned about the covering up the syllabus. Because they
did know, nothing can be gained by getting worried. They all walked out to the
main road full of four wheelers, two wheelers, rickshaws and autos. But very
few autos like three to four were seen to be parking on the right side of the
road after crossing the noisy traffic result of which was those auto drivers
were charging high. And Eva recalled about Economics she studied in school and
murmured to herself, “its supply and demand relationship where, if there is
increase in demand, price too increases. Nothing new!” She said to herself
giving a disgusting look at the auto driver.
Ultimately
after sometime one of the auto drivers nodded to the bargained price made by
Akhil which did show his agreement to hire the auto. All four made them sit
inside the same. Eva to the extreme right, Shahil to the left end and Akhil
between the two. On the way, Eva rolling her eyes from here and there with a
mark of disappointment between her brows, she tightly encrossed her fingers of
both the hands with a little gap between the palms as if there was some reason
something for which she wanted a way out.
Then,
few minutes later, by giving a playful push sideways, Akhil enquired- “Eva!
What are you thinking?”
“Nothing”
replied in a single word.
Then
silly talks among them continued for next few minutes. Eva though tried, but
could not help herself and failed to involve herself in the conversation
related to laugh, joke, carrier. Nearly
after twenty to thirty minutes they made themselves dropped down from the auto near
a square and took a small walk and made an entry to a Xerox shop in the left
side of a narrow passage of the main road.
Three of them ventured to the shop
decorated with the photo frames of Gods and Goddesses which were made to cling
on the walls painted with pink color and there were two Xerox machines inside
it. The shop was not spacious enough that three of them could have made
themselves wait inside the shop. Eva
unzipped the first chain of her hanging bag and took out a square cut paper.
Shahil opened the syllabus along with book and Eva kept the paper on the table
and bending herself little, she penned down the pages searched and dictated by
Shahil on a torn slip of white paper which were to get xeroxed. Shahil gave
that paper piece to the boy of the shop and made himself sit on the chair
having some silly talks with the same boy. Eva left the shop and with plugged
earphones in her ears stood outside supporting herself with her tilted head
towards left against the achromatous fence as if she had nil interest in what
was going on around them. She was mostly like getting zombie even though not
always. Another young man Akhil after finishing his talks over the cell phone
now marched near to Eva.
With
wide chuckle on his closed lips, “hey! What are you thinking?”
Eva
then using her thumb and index fingers took the earphones out of her respective
ears saying, "nothing" and returned a smile back.
He
probed, "will you say me what has happened to you? Is there anything
troubling you? I have been marking it since few days. Why don't you
speak?"
First,
she did keep quiet and then replied- "Will I say? I love you. He he! I was
kidding. She grinned."
As
if shocked, he questioned- "What? Listen... listen to me."
Akhil
tried to stop her by catching hold of her hand but Eva sauntered to the spot,
the entrance of the same thin lane. Akhil too followed her and with astonishing
voice uttered- "You never said that before. I didn't know it. O! Really?
Is it so?"
Eva
claimed, "No, I said, I was kidding."
Akhil
added- "No, you are not kidding. Come on! Now tell me. I just do not
believe this."
Eva
somehow spoke and expressed with difficulty. While speaking she could feel her
throat getting drier and drier and a kind of coldness in her hands. No sooner
she did speak about her troubling heart; she felt water drops beating her face.
Eva looked with her head up towards the sky.
That
was rain and rain drops. And suddenly started heavy rainfall. But both kept
standing constant talking to each other getting wet under the acherontic gloomy
sky.
Suddenly
Eva found herself in a reposed state after unveiling her emotional sensitivity.
Concurrently, she however, sensed a terrible kind of shame, a kind of guilt.
Hands of the wrist watch were approximately 8:45 pm
and Eva rushed to the shop. With her slow, slight trembling voice "Shahil!
Shahil! Haven't the Xeroxes got finished?"
[Shahil
observing Eva's face] "Let’s go. It's already late for you. I was waiting
for you both to come back."
They
moved themselves fast and there was silence among them. Continuation of rain
still there. They left Eva in front of the gate of her building giving her send
off and bidding her goodnight.
Eva
while riding the stairs to her room thought, perhaps rain had washed away all
her burdens of her mind by sharing with him whom she never had concealed
anything before as he being the intimate friend of her and she desired to live
her life as before without any dilemma.
But,
strange! In reality, that rainy night did not wash away any of her troubles.
Rather, it rained to alert her by falling on her face being drops just to inject
her to give a surcease to the discussion, to suppress her feelings without
letting them out. Perhaps the cause was that she could have hold it even though
it pains or it mentally distracts but, once told out, then gone case.
Rain
rained being a blessing to her. But being not able to judge it, she instead of
getting herself blessed with right path, she did bath herself which brought her
a badge of curse with the rainy night. Her sinful soul left her blank and empty
and ruined her.
She
stood at the door and kept ogling at others present in the room. Some were
studying and some were having fun. Suddenly Eva was gazed by others. There
slowly remained silence and that time Eva heard someone screaming.
“What
is this? You are totally wet and you have your exam tomorrow. Why do you stand
there? You will catch cold. Change it soon and go and study.”
Eva
nodded her head twice and moved towards the bathroom. She next heard the
consecutive knocks at the bathroom door.
Eva,
turning off the water tap, “who?”
“I.”
“What
happened?” asked Eva. Perhaps she recognized the voice of the person.
“Where
have you gone Eva?”
“Arre yaar bathroom na?”
“That’s
what I’m asking. Why?”
“Of
course to change my wet dress.”
“Have
you taken anything to change?”
Looking
towards the steel rod “Ah! No. I forgot to bring. Will you fetch me…?”
“Take
it. I’m holding.”
Eva
unlocked her bathroom door with a slight opening and stretched her right hand
from the little gap and gestured with movements of her fingers to handover her
clothes. She shut the door after receiving her night dress. She stood silently
for a while and took a cold shower and dressed herself after that. She then
came out of the bathroom and kept aside her pair of black wet slippers and made
herself stand under the fan drying up her hairs.
“If
I’m not wrong, I guess you have your exam tomorrow.” Claimed her roommate.
“Yes,
there is,” Eva sounding very grave.
“Well!
Have your supper and then sit to study. You at least always used to swot hard
the night previous to your exam day. But why such changes? No seriousness at
all. I’m shocked to see you. What will you do if you continue to live such
life?”
Rubbing
hard her teeth with anger, Eva shouted “Goddammit! I just know nothing. I am
not hungry. It’s like living hell to me. Do not know what I’ll write my paper
tomorrow. Right now let me stay with myself. We’ll discuss later.”
Saying this Eva got on to her bed well covered
with blue bed sheet of Tom and Jerry cartoons and sat there peeping out through
her side window.
Eva
spoke to herself- "What did I do? Why and how was I so out of control that
I vomited all in front of...? Shame on me. O Lord!"
Meanwhile
she felt the vibration of her mobile on the bed. Seeing the incoming call from
her father, she wiped out her teary waters from her face and with normal tone
"hello! Papa."
“Hello!
We just returned from God's place. What were you doing?”
Preventing
her tears Eva answered, “studying.” There was slight weakness in her quivering
voice.
“Are
you tensed? Don't worry for your exam. There is God always with you. You keep
on doing your duty. Don't waste time. All the best. After all you are too laboring
hard. And rest on God."
Failing
to utter anything, Eva only sounded “hmmm.” Then she disconnected the call.
More
painful these lines were for Eva as her inner soul knew very well about her
deeds. Squeezing her another bed sheet she pressed it to her face lying on the bed
with her knees bent and her head touching to the side wall. She decided not to
make herself sit blank in the exam hall. And there was a call from Akhil who
requested her to write her paper. Eva always respected the words of Akhil and
therefore agreed but... She sat the whole night on the stool consoling her to
study holding a book with her both the palms but could not and ultimately sun
rose with the crowing of the crows and singing of the cuckoos. She made herself
stand on the corridor gazing at the mango tree and saying to her- "whether
my night of curse was the curse for some nights or for the life? Whatever,
everything is unforgettable and now I'm out my strong tracks and I have become
equal with those which I never had preferred before."
Eva
heard someone calling her from inside.
“Hey!
There is Akhil's call for you.”
By
the time she came to receive the call, the incoming call turned to a missed
call and she ceased herself from calling him thinking how to confront with him
and made herself move to the bathroom to have her bath. Time was running out.
